When comparison becomes our measuring stick.

When I talk to handlers, comparison often comes up in some form or another - which is why I talk about it as much as I do, I suppose. This weekend, while giving a seminar, another possible cause of comparison surfaced: We look to others when we don't have a good way of measuring our own progress.

As I have said before, dog sports can be quite lonely at times. And outside of formal instruction, we don't necessarily get the type of feedback that would help us measure our progress over time. We put a lot of what I call "invisible work" into our dogs that others will never be privy to and, therefore, may not notice our progress. So, without other measurements or feedback, we look to other teams to tell us how we are doing.

Whether we are training on our own or in formal settings, we seem desperate to know if our dogs are on time, ahead, or behind. To answer that burning question, the other part of the query is evident: "Compared to what?"

Yes, each dog and handler is on their own journey and timeline, of course. Yet, we crave to know if we are making progress or if we should be pushing harder. We want some flippin' feedback! And along comes another dog or team to compare to, and we jump willingly into the trap.

Sometimes, comparison - specifically jealousy - gives us clues into what we really want. We see another team with a title, or great weaves, or a perfect recall and our "wish I had that" becomes "I'm going to work to get it." This is my favorite use of comparison, and it can be extremely motivating!

But when comparison becomes our chief form of measurement, it can become toxic or downright depressing. Constantly looking to someone else for validation means one must be better than another. In other words, someone is winning, and someone is losing. And, the way our brains are naturally wired, we often make ourselves the loser in this scenario.

Further, we compare our worst days to another team's highlight reel - after all, how do we truly know what invisible work that team is putting in? This scenario plays out every Monday as teams post weekend brags with posed ribbon pictures on social media. We see their highlight and compare it to our rough training session - clearly not a fair comparisson!

When the temptation of comparison tempts you, ask yourself, "What am I looking for here?" Do you need validation of your progress? Are you wondering if your dog is "on time?" Are you craving input and feedback? Then, when you figure out what you need, make a point to seek appropriate input from a trusted source - an instructor, coach, or informed friend.

As competitors, feedback is critical to improve and push ourselves out of our comfort zones to new places. But make a point to be conscious of the inputs you are absorbing without realizing it, and don't jump down that comparison rabbit hole!