Staying calm when you dog ... isn't

This question recently came in through Ask The Q Coach, and I knew immediately it was one that so many handlers could relate to:

How do I keep myself calm and positive when my dog is really not in the best mood, really active, and not listening because she just wants to go? I think we need our own bubble to do great in competitions, but it’s really difficult to get a good mindset and focus. And if I’m nervous, the dog will be too…

First off, YES. You are absolutely right that our dogs pick up on our emotions. If we’re tense, frustrated, or doubting ourselves, they feel that energy. But also, when they’re spinning out, barking, or completely ignoring us? That’s a tough moment to stay calm in.

So how do we handle this?

Build the bubble before you need it

You mentioned wanting a bubble—this sense of connection and focus between you and your dog. That’s an excellent goal, and it’s something that needs to be created outside of the competition ring first.

The bubble doesn’t just appear when you walk into the ring; it’s something you build through training, routines, and mental preparation. Start by asking:

• What does my dog need to feel more settled before a run?
• What do I need to feel more grounded and focused?
• What small routines can we practice to create a sense of familiarity and calm?

This could mean having a structured warm-up, a predictable pre-run routine (aka ritual), or even a mental cue that signals to both of you, “Hey, we’re in this together.”

Control what you can—your own energy

One of the hardest things about handling an overly amped-up dog is that we can’t make them be calm. But we can regulate our own energy.

When you feel your dog ramping up, instead of reacting to their chaos, focus inward:

• Take a deep breath (seriously, right now—do it).
• Release any tension in your shoulders and hands.
• Remind yourself that you don’t have to match their energy—you can be the steady one.

If you make calm your priority, it shifts the dynamic. Your dog might not settle immediately, but they’ll have a better chance of following your lead if you’re not accidentally feeding the frenzy.

Have a reset plan

Despite our best efforts, sometimes our dogs just have a day. And when that happens, it’s easy to spiral into frustration or nerves. That’s when you need a reset strategy.

A reset could be as simple as:

• Stepping away and giving both of you a breather.
• Using a trained cue to bring focus back (like a hand touch or a quiet sit).
• Reminding yourself of your bigger goal—this is just one run, one moment.

And here’s something that can instantly change how you respond in those moments: Instead of asking, Why is this happening?! Shift to How can I support my dog right now? What does my dog need from me in this moment?

That question moves you out of frustration and into curiosity. And curiosity keeps you from getting stuck in the emotional energy spiral. It also reminds you that you and your dog are a team—your role is to help them through, not just react to what’s happening.

Remember: it’s a team sport

At the end of the day, this isn’t just about handling your dog’s energy—it’s about working together. Your dog isn’t trying to make things difficult; they’re just responding to their environment in the way they know how.

Your job isn’t to fix or control them—it’s to be the partner who stays steady no matter what.

And when that feels impossible? Give yourself grace. This is a hard sport, and learning to stay calm in chaos takes time. But every time you practice, you’re building that bubble—one moment, one breath at a time.