Spinning catastrophic tales.

The other day, I was spinning. I was worrying  - no, fretting - about something that might or could happen, and then planning what to do about it. I was burning a LOT of energy on "negative fantasy island." It wasn't fun.

I saw myself doing it - I was fully aware. I knew I had to change my thoughts to anything better - ice cream, carbs, puppies ... But every time, I returned to my freak-out. In my awareness, I could see that part of my mind was fighting to make this worry true.

How weird is that? A part of my mind wanted the awful fantasy to happen. ICK!

This is a great example of what can happen when our fears run amok. Our minds take the fear and marry it with the desire to be right because our minds are designed to make our thoughts true. This is one reason we must be incredibly conscious about our self-talk.

So how do we stop? How do we escape Negative Fantasy Island?

The first step truly is awareness. Yes, we must be aware to change the proverbial channel, but there is a more useful reason. By "seeing" our thoughts happening, we separate from them. It's almost like being able to step outside yourself and watch your thoughts - like a movie. In this way, we realize that we are not our thoughts instead, we are having thoughts. And with this distance, we can choose again.

In my morning of freak out, once I stepped outside myself, I was able to reach for my tools. I tried breathing but couldn't stick with it. I tried listening to a book but couldn't concentrate. I put on music but it faded into the background. I tried thinking of other things but my thoughts snapped back to the negative scenario. I tried visualizing but I kept seeing the catastrophic result. So yes, sometimes our go-to tools don't work - luckily I had more.

What worked for me was the "what if" tool. What if it all works out? What if this day is even better than I hope? What if I have a really fun day? What if ...

This "what if" tool allowed me to imagine a better outcome, creating a space between the worst and the best outcomes. And in that space I saw my opportunity to get my mental footing. From there, it was one "step" in front of the other, maintaining the perspective that I am not my thoughts and can choose better ones. I walked my way back.

This is why we have multiple tools - one doesn't work 100% of the time. Think of it as needing different keys for different locks. Don't be discouraged when one tool isn't working; keep trying.

I'm happy to report that my day went even better than imagined - so all that catastrophic thinking was for not. However, it did give me an article for this week as I also used journaling to work through the process ;)