Are you having a Goldilocks problem?

Remember the story Three Little Bears and Goldilocks? One bed is too hard, one too soft, and the other "just right." I often use that blonde child's name as a shortcut when talking to clients about finding the right intensity or "edge." Too much or too little isn't good; you must find your personal "just right."

Personally, I like a healthy dose of intensity to be at my best. Research tells us that the emotions we feel related to competition can serve to hyper-focus us on the task at hand. It can help us tune out the rest of the world and drop into the present moment with clarity. This is where the zone and flow live.

But the intensity I like versus the amount you like may be wildly different. I also know that the amount of intensity I enjoy is too much for Moxie - not ideal for a team sport!

Too much intensity can be a bad thing for me - who remembers the time I gave myself a migraine? And if I'm too relaxed or casual, I'm not very focused and make careless mistakes. That's why finding your personal edge is a "Goldilocks problem." We all need to find our "just right."

So what do we do?

When I talk to clients about intensity (or nerves, or excitement), I use a scale of one through ten. Ten being over the top/too much and one being too chill. Each of us must develop enough awareness to know our ideal number. For instance, my preferred number is 7.5, but I know that I can get to 8.5 easily.

We also need to understand our dog's ideal number - that zone where they can be their best, too. Moxie is her best at 6. So if I am an 8.5 and Moxie is a 6, my energy could shut her down - it's too much for her.

Knowing where we desire to be is the first step. Next, we must learn how to take ourselves (and our dogs) up and down the scale. If I'm too casual, I might listen to specific music; if I'm low energy, I might have a snack. If I'm too keyed up, I might take a walk or find another outlet for my extra energy.

To find our edge, we must become comfortable assessing our energy to find that Goldilocks zone. Play with this concept this week and build awareness of what your team needs and how you can dial it up or down.