Are you chasing your goal away?

Tis the season of chasing goals. In agility, this means pushing to qualify for the Agility Invitational and crossing off big goals like MACHs and PACHs. Oh, but my fellow obedience, conformation, rally, and other dog sports players are not off the hook - this "chasing" catches all of us eventually.

I'm talking about the dreaded intersection of outcome goals and time constraints. As if the pressure of an outcome goal is not enough, we add a time constraint to increase the anxiety! Left unexamined, I've seen handlers drive themselves pretty bonkers, which does not usually bode well for their handling. Too often, handlers push away the thing they want the most.

So why does this happen? What's going on?

Let's start with the frustration. Handlers turn themselves inside out, angry at themselves for not being able to get those last Qs. The self-talk gets pretty ugly, and they are so focused on the outcome that they can't define what they need to do. Blame spirals, meltdowns, frustration, and other versions of disappointment enter the picture, and all the while, the dogs are super-confused by this latest version of their handlers.

In short, we are so focused on the outcome - the end, the result - that we aren't thinking about what we have to DO (aka our process goals).

Recently, two of my clients were in similar positions (though less dramatic because they work with me and have tools - wink, wink). They each recognized they were spinning but were unsure how to get back on track. My advice was similar: Stop chasing, trust your skills, and just run. You're focusing on what you want instead of what you need to do. Create your plan, then let go.

"Let go." What a horrifying thought, right?! The last thing we want to do in a critical moment is "let go!" Everything in us wants to control every aspect, but that rarely has the desired result. Yet, focusing on the outcome means that we are not in the present moment - mentally, we are already in the van headed home with the ribbon on the dashboard.

Instead, we need to get present - fast - and do the things that got us this far. Meaning that if you are up for a championship or close to qualifying for a big event, you've already Q'd a whole bunch! You didn't just land here! So simplify, go back to those actions that got you to this point, this privileged moment where you have the opportunity most will never have. Only in the present moment can you execute your plan and handle your dog as you know you can.

I'm happy to report that both clients who texted me got their MACH/PACHs. They got back into the present moment, reconnected with their dogs, and just ran. In so doing, they had to let go of the outcome, trust their training, and just run.